Notes on A Life’s Journey
This post is a note on a life’s journey – my own.
It is about a beginning without an ending.
It is about a step onto a path.
The Year Was 2004
Have you ever leapt without a net? Jumped of the cliff and hoped?
The year was 2004 and I was working several jobs as a part-time teacher and barely making ends meet. I was in a really tiny apartment, with an old beat-up car and not a lot of extra cash. It’s not that I didn’t like my life: I had great friends, a supportive family, a decent social life and lived in a pretty amazing city.
The problem was me. I didn’t want the life I had.
It was a comfortable, if hard, life and it was one everyone around me was living as well so I was in good company. I had friends, food, and family but…
Something was missing.
I had questions that no one else around me seemed to have an answer for:
Is the struggle life or or is it just struggle?
Do I need to live like this?
What if I don’t want to?
That last question was key. It was like someone had filled me up with gasoline and I was just waiting for the spark. When I began to really think on the idea that I did not want the life I had, that gasoline began a slow burn that, within 6 months, would burned up my once comfortable life.
By 2005, I had given notice to all of my jobs, been accepted to a graduate program two hours away from where I lived, given up my apartment to save money and moved in with some friends. And, by the way, I was in my 30’s and starting over when most of my friends were looking to settle down.
I had also come to the realization that I had no way to pay for my new adventures (and some of that support system was not so supportive of me anymore). It was a little daunting to say the least.
But, I decided I was going because the slow burn was now a raging inferno of possibilities and graduate school was the next step.
I was going to leap whether the net appeared or not. So, I did.
And The Universe Answered
On a whim, I decided to visit my future so loaded some friends in a car and took off for the town where I would end up spending 4 of the most pivotal years of my life.
I decided to make that trip twice.
On the first trip, I found out that I was getting full funding for school plus a stipend to live on.
On the second trip, I found the perfectly affordable, safe and comfy home after seeing only one place and having no connections in the town.
I left my hometown in the Summer of 2005 and my new life began.
I spent four wonderful years getting a doctorate in human communication and a new version of myself. I had great friends, a great town and wonderful experiences.
I also learned that Universe would require me to do more than get my degree. The Universe had bigger plans for me.
I re-imagined my life and discovered how to make a new story come true. I discovered that under that comfy, cozy life that I almost didn’t give up was a lot of fear:
Fear of being different.
Fear of moving up from where I came from.
Fear of not being loved anymore.
Fear of succeeding.
Fear of failing.
Once I started sitting with the fear, I heard the Universe distinctly say: lean in.
And that is what I began to do and what I do now.
By leaning into the fear instead of running away, I changed the trajectory of my life and continue to do so every moment of every day.
By leaning in, I feel the fear.
By leaning in, I get to the root of my problems.
By leaning in, I get the answers I need.
By leaning in, I learn to let go.
And in the process of leaning in, I have learned to listen to the voice of the Universe and this is what I hear:
Believe that science and mystery co-exist beautifully.
Trust that all you need is here at all times, just learn to access it.
You are more than you can possibly know.
As I said at the beginning, this is a story without an ending as I write each line as I live each new day.
I hope you realize that you are never to (fill in YOUR fear here) to live the life you want.
I offer what I have learned and more in my Soul-Path services. Visit here.
I can help you tell your story and change your life.
In love and light,
Sacheen Mobley, Phd